What do you do if your significant other has erectile dysfunction?
Posted by admin | Under erectile dysfunction Tuesday Dec 29, 2009My significant other has a major issue with erectile dysfunction and because of his sensitivity to medication, he can’t do much about it. He has tried most of the E.D. drugs as well as all the herbal remedies and they usually make him so wired or anxious that the headache involved isn’t worth it. We’ve been together for about 3 years but it’s killing me. It really puts a damper on my self esteem and it takes its toll on the relationship. I’m in my early 20’s and he’s in his mid 30’s and infidelity is a deal breaker to him. Toys only do so much, but they don’t beat real intimacy. Sure he can go down and stuff, but it’s one of those few and far between things. We have a kid together (it was one of those once in a million type of things) so it’s not like I can just walk away. What do I do!!!???
there is a technique sex therapists use… you are intimate together three times a week for at least an hour. the first week it’s kissing only, then 2nd week petting above the waist but no further, and so on. by the 8th week, he can try penetration, but you aren’t supposed to move, he’s supposed to just leave it there and feel the sensations, while at the same time, lots of kissing, petting, etc. even if you feel like you can have sex, you cannot until the 12th week. by the 12th week you can attempt to have sex.
one of the keys here is that, if he goes limp, do NOT stop touching each other intimately, you must keep on giving each other pleasurable sensations. this supposedly re-trains the man to be more sensitive and feel pleasure more, increasing the chances of an erection.
personally, this sounds more fun to me than penis implants and less expensive than pills.
Hard one! Take a break & see how you feel. I don’t think there is any easy answer to this. You either stay with the current situation or you leave. My sister tried hard to stay with a man for a long time with the same prob & finally decided to leave with much heartbreak.
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WoW… if he , the drugs , AND the toys dont work ….sounds like you will have to step out………and soon !
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NEED LOVE
I am afraid that you cannot do much, this is beyond your control. Take good care of yourself, see together a specialist, allow your significant one to regain his self esteem, visit counselor, and if nothing helps, move on (child is very important, but it is not a substitute for your life)
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You need to look deep into your heart and decide which is more important…the love you share with your husband or sex. For a few years my health prevented me from having sex…my ex couldn’t handle it and chose to cheat on me. I kicked him out and am in the middle of divorcing him. The funny thing is now my health is all better and am truly happier now then ever before. he is so totally regretting the choices he made. We were married 19 years and have 4 kids between us. Good luck and blessings in what ever you decide!
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there is a technique sex therapists use… you are intimate together three times a week for at least an hour. the first week it’s kissing only, then 2nd week petting above the waist but no further, and so on. by the 8th week, he can try penetration, but you aren’t supposed to move, he’s supposed to just leave it there and feel the sensations, while at the same time, lots of kissing, petting, etc. even if you feel like you can have sex, you cannot until the 12th week. by the 12th week you can attempt to have sex.
one of the keys here is that, if he goes limp, do NOT stop touching each other intimately, you must keep on giving each other pleasurable sensations. this supposedly re-trains the man to be more sensitive and feel pleasure more, increasing the chances of an erection.
personally, this sounds more fun to me than penis implants and less expensive than pills.
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Has he tried supplements from an health food shop that are an alternative to the ED drugs – such as Horny Goat Weed – this works in a similar way to Viagra but without the side effects. Others that might help: Ginseng, Vitamin E, passiflora (this helps with anxiety and boosts testosterone and libido). There is always the VED pump and rings from a quality medical supplier, (eg Osbon Erecaid) which is supposed to have a 90-95% success rate .
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Apart from you putting a bit of starch in his shorts, a "pump" can be inserted (an operation) in him which he basically "blows up" when he needs to perform. Expensive, but drug free! However, mid 30’s, his problem is more than likely pyschological.
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alot of times it’s mostly psychological….they think about it too much. If it bothers him as much as you…and he has seen a urologist…there are other options for him. If he hasn’t seen one…I suggest that is the first step for him. You could have him try a cock ring…and the most drastic approach is a penile implant…which keeps it hard. If he is serious about this and loves you….than stand behind him and I promise you can work it out. Start with the urologist…they have many options…if it is psychological…then there are other things going on (in his head) and you might consider seeing a psychologist. I understand where you are coming from…my husband didn’t tell me that he was using medication when we met….then when I found out..we tried without and alot of times it didn’t work. He tried to just avoid sex all together and I thought it was me. We finally worked it out and I know it’s all in his head…we tried a cock ring and other things and they worked. He knows that I’m behind him and if sometimes it doesn’t work…we try again later and we are fine. It seemed that the more pressure I put on him and the more I talked about it…the worse it was, cause then that’s all he thought about. Good luck to you….I know exactly how you feel…just be patient and open with him and see a doctor first….the more supportive you are the better things will be in the end. Now, we have a great sex life…but it didn’t happen overnight….patience is a virtue…as hard as that might be right now.
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You did not say what the cause of his E.D. is. Can a doctor suggest any ways to improve his condition. Sounds like you both have a problem with self esteem now. How do you treat each other outside of the bedroom? Sex is not a big deal, if it’s good and since yours isn’t I guess it spills over into everyday life. Please try counselling before you make any final decisions. That way you will feel better knowing that you tried everything and gave it your all .You don’t need a guilt trip on your conscience for the rest of your life.
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Um…it’s your fault if you anwser yes to any of the below
1. are you a fat gross pig?
2. are you ugly?
3. do you smell funny?
4. do you just lay there?
5. do you wait for him to start?
6. are you a guy?
if you said yes to any of these…..it’s your fault!
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maybe he just hasnt found the right thing to get him in full salute
maybe he has a fetish you dont know about
does he like porn
maybe a camcorder
how bad is this disfunction?
you have a kid together but maybe its time for you to move on.
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I am an older man 80 years old & I have tired many remidies for E D you have tried toys? Have you tried a Power Cock sold by Adam&Eve .com? This is a hollow strap on that has a viberator in the tip. a women may need extra lubricaction, KY Jelly Gillee is a good choice use an applicator like for monistat to place lube deap into vagina. You will feel sensation like a normal erection & your man will feel every move you make. There is a bonus to, this can be exciting enough to cause him to have an erection.
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Personal experience, products can be found at Adam&eve.com
THIS WILL FIX EVERYTHING, I had this same problem, I went to a doctor who specializes in surgical procedures on men. He suggested I have an implant installed.
It’s expensive cost me 9,000 bucks but, it works, and wife doesn’t find anything different other than i can i stay hard for hours at a time.
I can keep my erection continuous for 3-4 hours, readjust and let it go limp for 10-15 minutes, turn it on again and stay hard for 3-4 hours. and just keep repeating this over and over.
It’s like i have a bionic dick, and it’s great.
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